


Time Peace - Part Two

by ariella884



Series: Time Peace [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode: s04e08 Year of Hell, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 06:57:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12127005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariella884/pseuds/ariella884
Summary: A follow-up to Time Peace. This is my 'what if' story.Thanks to Helen8462 for the beta!!





	Time Peace - Part Two

**Author's Note:**

> A follow-up to Time Peace. This is my 'what if' story.
> 
> Thanks to Helen8462 for the beta!!

Her heart soared when she heard the news that Chakotay was aboard the other ship. She felt such a sense of relief that it made what she had to do next just that much easier. She knew that as long as he was alive, everything would be okay. She would be okay. 

She has now resigned herself to what’s next; there is no other way. In order to save everyone, to save the very essence of time, she has to do it. Her only hope is that when the ship is destroyed, time will reset itself and things will go back to the way they were before. If it doesn’t... well she can’t think about that now.

She feels a collision with another ship. The hull of _Voyager_ is so severely damaged that she now has a clear view into space from a large hole that has opened in front of her. She can see the time ship; her goal is in sight.

“Janeway to the fleet. Take your temporal shields offline.”

~Captain we won’t be protected.~ She hears Tuvok over the com.

“Exactly. If that ship is destroyed, all of history might be restored. And this is one year I’d like to forget.”

She steers her ship toward the other vessel, heading straight for the temporal core, knowing she will only get one shot at this. 

“Time’s up.”

Gripping tightly to the armrests of her captain’s chair she heads in, closing her eyes and letting death sweep over her. Her last thoughts are of the man she loves; the man she never had the chance to give her heart to fully.

_______________________________________

~ Captain’s log, Stardate 51252.3. The past couple of weeks have been uneventful, but we’ve made excellent progress on the new Astrometrics lab…~

 

“When can you bring it online?” She inquires as she takes her seat in the Captain’s chair.

“We just did.” Seven of Nine, from down in the Astrometrics Lab, responds. 

“In fact, we’re in the process of charting a new course home.” She can hear the excitement in Harry Kim’s voice; ever the optimist. 

“I’d say this is cause for celebration.” She has high hopes for the new lab and it’s highly sophisticated systems. She prays that this makes life aboard Voyager just a little bit less dangerous. More so, she hopes it helps them fulfil the one goal that’s on all of their minds: Home. 

Tuvok’s voice interrupts her thoughts. “A vessel is approaching off the port bow, Captain.”

“On screen.” The image appears in front of her and she pauses for a second. 

_That looks familiar. I know this ship from somewhere._

“They’re hailing us,” Harry informs her.

The feeling of deja vu continues to get stronger and stronger; she can’t seem to shake it. “Open a channel.”  She sees the alien from the other vessel and immediately knows that this isn’t the first time, but she can’t exactly place him.  She looks around at her crew looking for some hint of familiarity in their faces, but finds none. 

“You’ve entered Krenim space. State your identity.”

“Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager. We’re just passing through trying to get home.” She keeps her voice calm, the complete opposite of what she is actually feeling. She knows she has seen him before, but he doesn’t seem to know her either. 

_What is going on?_

“This region is in dispute. I suggest you avoid our territory.”

Without asking any for any further explanation, she knows this to be true. She knows that she must avoid this region of space, even if it means extending their trip by a couple months. She doesn’t hesitate with her response. “Thanks for the warning.”

“Good journey.” His image is quickly gone from the screen, but her thoughts linger on the last couple minutes. 

She has become completely overcome with a feeling of having been here before. This is more than just a sense of deja vu, she knows it. She has this overwhelming sense that something is about to happen; they are about to be attacked. She orders a full sensor sweep. Nothing. No other ships in the area. The Krenim vessel is moving away, with weapons down. She begins pacing the deck, attempting to put some order to things in her mind.

_What is going on?_

She looks to her left and sees Chakotay, his face full of questions and worry. Of course he is able to tell something is going on with her. She feels utter relief at seeing him next to her, as though he shouldn’t be there. Her mind flashes to an image of him disappearing from the bridge, right in front of her. Tom Paris as well. She sees the destruction around her and feels overwhelming despair and anger. More and more images begin to flood through her mind. Battles, endless battles. Destruction. Too many injuries. Deaths. Telling her crew to abandon ship in the escape pods. Tired, worried faces all around her. A fireball surrounding her. And through it all, one face lingers in her mind. Chakotay. 

It’s too much for her. The room begins to spin and her legs give out. She feels strong arms surround her, hears distant voices calling her name. She loses focus and everything goes black. 

__________________________________

When her eyes open she is looking up at the bland ceiling of sickbay, bright lights in her eyes. She sees the Doctor right in front of her saying something, though she can’t concentrate enough on what that may be. She looks to her left and sees Chakotay’s worried face; she feels his hand in her own. She smiles slightly, knowing he would be by her side. She receives a smile back and can hear his faint words directed toward the doctor.

“So, she’s going to be alright?”

The doctor responds shortly. “Yes, she’s fine. It seems to be the stress of everything.” Looking down at her, he continues. “You really need to take better care of yourself. You can’t keep going like you are, you won’t be of very much use to your crew if you’re dead.”

She sits up gently. “Yes, Doctor. May I go now?”

“You are free to go, but you must report directly to your quarters. You are to take the next 24 hours off. Understood?”

She knew this was coming and for once she is okay with taking a break. She needs time to sort through what’s going on. She remembers everything. All 257 days. Every second. Every thought. Every feeling. It has all come back to her. 

She climbs down from the bed, Chakotay taking her arm to assist. She thanks him with a smile and they walk out together. 

They arrive at her door, having exchanged no words since they left sickbay. He looks down at her, his eyes delving into hers with silent questions. She knows he is looking for some sort of explanation. He seems to always have this innate sense of when something is going on with her. She never has been able to keep anything from him. 

“Would you like to come in?” She resigns herself to having to tell him everything that has happened. 

“Thank you. Yes.”

She lets out a sigh of relief and exhaustion as they enter her quarters. She goes straight towards the replicator, knowing that she won’t be able to do this without at least one coffee in her system. She also knows she is stalling a bit; she just isn’t sure on where to start or how to explain things.

_He’s going to think that I’ve lost my mind! How does a person explain that they have memories of an alternate universe, if that’s even what that was?_

“Would you like something to drink?” He shakes his head and sits down on the couch. She takes her coffee and moves to sit next to him, feeling his eyes raking over her form. He’s evaluating her, trying to figure out what it is that has his captain so out of sorts.

“Kathryn, what’s going on? There’s something that you haven’t told me yet. What happened on the bridge? That wasn’t stress. You were fine one minute and the next you were on the floor. Even for you, that’s not normal.”

“You’re right. There is something. But I’m still trying to figure things out myself.”

“Then maybe we can figure it out together?” She catches a twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

He always does that; makes everything feel okay, even when she knows it’s not. He has this way of calming her. He’s always been there for her, and she knows that no matter what, that isn’t going to change. She’s seen it. Through the worst of times, he was always there, supporting her, comforting her. 

She looks up and meets his eyes with a smile in her own, trying to tell him without words what him being there means to her. 

“You’re going to think this is crazy. If I didn’t know it to be true, I’d think it’s crazy too.” She gathers her thoughts together, attempting to find the best way to explain. “Time has been reset. We have already lived out the next 257 days; or at least another version of them. Things are different now. That Krenim ship that we just met? It attacked us the first time.”

“Which is why you ordered the full sensor sweep? You thought it was going to do so again?” He was looking intently upon her, absorbing everything she was saying. She wasn’t sure if he believed her or not, but at least he was listening and giving her the benefit of doubt. 

“Yes, I didn’t really know it at the time. It was more of a feeling that something was about to happen. And then all of a sudden everything came back to me in a rush. Two hundred and fifty seven days worth of memories. It was too much.” She looks down at the cup in her hand. She knows she needs to continue. She reaches out to set her finished drink on the table in front of her. She clasps her hands together to keep herself from fidgeting, and rests her elbow on her knees.

“There was a temporal weapon developed by a subset of the Krenim…” She begins the story of all that had happened. The endless fighting. Almost losing _Voyager_ multiple times. Resources running thin. He and Tom disappearing from the bridge. Why she ordered the crew to abandon _Voyager_. The plan to destroy the temporal weapon. And lastly, her attempt to reset everything by using _Voyager_ to destroy the temporal core.

She takes a deep breath, and for the first time since beginning the account, she looks up at him. She can see the slight shock in his features. There’s something else there too, but she can’t quite put her finger on it. Worry maybe? 

“Well. I can honestly say that I was not expecting all that. How do you know it’s actually happened? Maybe it was a dream? A very detailed dream, I’ll give you that, but no one else seems to remember anything about it.”

“I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with my ship being the one to destroy the core. Or maybe my proximity to the core when it exploded. I don’t know, but I remember it all. Every last detail. It’s not some fading image from a dream. It’s real. I’m sure of it. I’ve lived it.” Her voice cracks on the last words, feeling the pain of everything she endured over the last year. There was too much loss, too much heartache. It weighs heavily on her once again. She has to remind herself that things aren't going to happen that way again. 

She looks up into his eyes once more, trying to gauge his belief in what she was saying. She sees nothing but trust, but it is layered with hesitancy also. She knows she will have to offer some sort of proof. She had been secretly hoping to not divulge this information, but knows now that she has no choice. 

“Chakotay. Do you know when my birthday is?”

“Of course. It’s in about two months. May 20th.”

She smiles. Knowing that he knows this makes her heart swell. He is such a dear friend, and through the years she has come to rely on him so much. Unfortunately it took her almost losing him to realize how much. 

“You’ve already gotten me a gift, haven’t you?”

His mouth drops open in veritable shock. It’s almost as if she can hear his thoughts: _How could she know this?_ It’s not as though they have exchanged gifts in the past. 

She continues, “A beautiful silver chronometer. 19th century. It is a replica of one owned by Captain Cray of the British Navy, I believe.”

She is enjoying this more than she probably should be. He’s sitting there in a state of pure shock, no doubt trying to figure out how she could possibly know this. 

“You gave it to me on my birthday, the first time around, as well as the story behind it. You said Captain Cray’s ship had been hit by a typhoon. Everyone in Europe had feared them lost, but 8 months later they sailed what was left of their ship into London Harbor. Against all odds, they made it home. He got his crew home.” Her voice cracks slightly with that last detail. Tears begin to well up in her eyes, but she defiantly pushes them back. The story he told her about the chronometer hit so close to home. It’s her story, one that she hopes comes to a similar conclusion. But at the time, she had no choice but to suppress every hint of emotion towards the gift and the man giving it to her. They had a job to do, one that would affect the very survival of the crew. 

“How? How could you know this?” He’s speechless, stunned that she could possibly know this. “I replicated the chronometer just last week. I wanted to have it early in case things got a little hectic around here. But you couldn’t have know that. I mean, yes you technically could have seen the replicator logs and found out I had replicated something of this nature, but how could you have known about it’s history? This doesn’t make sense.” 

His ramblings make her smile softly. She decides to keep quiet while he works things through in his mind. She knows him, knows that he will need to stew things over a bit before he comes to a final conclusion. Suddenly, his head snaps up. “Do you, or rather, did you like it?”

She throws her head back slightly and lets out a chuckle. “Of all the things I have just told you, the only thing you’re worried about is whether I liked the gift or not?” She shakes her head at him. She will never fully figure out the way this man’s mind works. He is always full of surprises. 

“Yes, I love it. I....” Her thoughts briefly return to the memory of him giving her the chronometer on the bridge. The laughter leaves her eyes and her face drops to her lap. This is the part of the memory that had kept her from wanting to tell him about this. She was afraid of what he will think of her. At the time she didn’t have the luxury of keeping the gift. They were at war. Her mind was so focused on keeping her crew alive that her personal life wasn’t even in the picture. She prays that he will understand this and not judge her reaction too harshly. “When you gave it me, we were in the midst of war. Voyager was in horrible shape; we were losing. Energy reserves were dangerously low and we were at emergency rations.” Tears begin to form again in her eyes at the memories. “I ordered you to destroy it. To recycle it. We couldn’t afford luxuries. Five days later, you were taken.” She attempts to hold back all that she felt during that time. It didn’t actually happen, or rather, it’s not going to happen. He’s right in front of her, alive and healthy. 

“Kathryn. I understand. You did what you had to do. We all did, I’m sure.” He tries to reassure her, his voice full of tenderness and warmth.

She lifts her eyes back up to his, “You disobeyed me though.” Her right eyebrow raises slightly and the edges of her mouth curl up, laughter slowly returning to her face. “I found it months later. Neelix and I were moving through the ship, checking systems. Assessing damage. We arrived at your door and my tricorder picked up a signal. It was the chronometer, buried under debris.” The feelings rush back to her at the memory of finding the gift again. She remembers how she clung to it, clung to the memory of him to get her through the next few days. How just having a small piece of him close to her kept her moving forward. It was her reminder of what was at stake.

“I can’t say that I’m surprised to hear that. And I’m sorry I disobeyed your order.” He sniggers. She knows he’s not really sorry, and she’s not upset. Not in the least. 

“So? Do you believe me?” Her eyes burn deep into his trying to gauge where his thoughts are at. 

“To be honest, it’s a lot to comprehend. But the things you know, the details…” He sits up straight. “I’ve known you for four years now. I like to think that I have good grasp on the way you work and think. I know that for you to tell me all of this, you believe it. And that’s enough for me.”

She lets out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. It’s as though the weight of the universe itself has been lifted from her shoulders. She leans back against the couch, her head and neck curving over the top. She sighs, then tilts her face toward him again. “You don’t know what it means to me to hear you say that.”

“So what now? Should we tell the crew?” 

She hasn’t really thought everything through yet. Is there really any point? It was a different reality. Things have already changed. They aren't even going to be entering into the region of space where everything took place. “I don’t see much of a point in telling everyone. Why tell them how bad things got. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But maybe...I think I should have Tuvok run a scan for any temporal anomalies, just to be on the safe side. The ship was destroyed, but I’ll sleep better at night knowing that another one hasn’t taken it’s place. If everything is clear, we’ll move on.”

“And if not? What if it wasn’t destroyed? Or if there’s another one?” She knows his concerns are valid. She’d be asking the same things. However, deep down she knows the ship is gone. 

Sitting up straight again she turns her body towards him. “Then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” She gives a slight nod of her head.

“I will order the scan immediately, Captain.” She notices the shift immediately. They went from ‘Kathryn and Chakotay’ back to ‘Captain and Commander’ almost seamlessly. 

_How long have we been doing this? Have we always switched between roles so easily?_

“Very well, Commander. Thank you. I think I am going to get some sleep. You have command for the next…22 hours it seems. Doctor’s orders.” She knows he is slightly surprised that she is willingly taking time off. She’s always found one reason or another to sidestep the Doctor’s orders. However, she is exhausted. She feels like she has been going non-stop for a year, which technically she has. Those 257 days of hell are still weighing on her. She’s ready to forget they ever happened...or most of them anyways.

She walks him to the door and says goodnight, then goes into the bathroom to change clothes and splash cool water over her face. She’s lying in her bed going over everything in her mind again. She still has no idea why it is that she remembers everything. Of all the scenarios she played out in her head before she took _Voyager_ on the collision course, this was never even a thought. 

Her mind then turns back to a particular memory, and the promise she made to herself. 

Hooking the chronometer to her uniform. Feeling the texture of the chain as she runs her fingers over it. The feeling of Chakotay being close by, yet so far away. The promise to never let him go again…

_I promised. But it didn’t technically happen yet. So, I shouldn’t…_

That’s as far as her thoughts go before she jumps out of bed. There’s one more thing she has to tell him. She won’t be able to live with herself if she doesn’t do this. Now. Right now.

“Computer, where is Commander Chakotay?”

“Commander Chakotay is on the bridge.”

Her hand moves directly to her combadge, “Janeway to Chakotay.”

“Chakotay here.”

“Report to my quarters at your earliest convenience. There is something else we need to discuss about the Krenim.”  She throws that last statement in, hoping it will make her request sound as though it’s about duty rather than personal. 

“I’m on my way, Captain.”

She looks around the room for her white robe, knowing that she really should put more appropriate clothes on, but there isn’t time. He will be here in minutes. She’s pacing the room, trying to get the words together. But she doesn’t even know where to start, how to go about telling him all the feelings that came to the surface during the year that didn’t happen. The promise she made to herself. 

They have been dancing around their feeling for years. She’s known it. He’s known it. She sees it in his eyes every time he looks at her. Their playful demeanor, flirty comments. She’s even noticed the not-so-subtle eye grazes he gives her when he thinks she isn't paying attention. There has been a number of times where she’s caught him checking her out. Not that she would ever call him out on it or admit to knowing he does it. Secretly, she has always loved it, loved knowing that he sees her as a woman and not just the Captain. And while she has always flirted back, that’s as far as things were allowed to get. She couldn’t allow herself to get more involved. Not yet anyways. But she always knew he was there, waiting for her to accept things. Waiting for her to finally acknowledge what was between them. It almost happened on New Earth and quite possibly would have had a cure not been found by the crew. 

_The time is now. I’m ready._

She hears the door chime, interrupting her thoughts. Taking in a deep breath, she responds, “Come in.”

And he’s there again. Standing in front of her, moving slowly into her quarters. She can feel his eyes roving over her body, no doubt surprised at what she’s wearing. 

“There was something else to discuss? Have you remembered more?” His voice is full of worry, knowing that she wouldn’t have called him back in so late for just minuscule details. 

“Yes. There’s one more thing.” Words escape her. She knows the only way to fully make him understand what’s going through her head right now is to show him. She peers deep into his eyes and moves forward, eliminating any distance between them. She notices his posture straightening, a curious expression falling over his face. Without hesitation, she reaches her hand up to cup his cheek, then moves it to the back of his neck, pulling him down to her.  

She feels the intake of breath from his chest just as her lips reach his. Her own heart is racing, her breathing labored. She lets out a husky sigh when she feels him give himself over to the kiss. Her lips part gently, urging him to take all of her. He responds instantly, his arms moving to her hips and sliding around to her back, pulling her tighter against him. The feelings of the last few years boiling over the surface, both of them unable to contain their desires any longer. 

He pulls away, his breathing ragged, a resentful sigh coming from her throat. “Kathryn? Not that I’m complaining here, but what is this? What’s going on?”

“You know, I didn’t think I’d have to explain kissing to you.” She gives him a devilish grin.

“You know what I mean. Why now?”

“The one thing I didn’t tell you about all those memories I retained...I thought I could keep it to myself, but it turns out, I don’t really want to.” She drags her hands to his chest, feeling his heart racing beneath her fingertips, pushing her to go on. “I made a promise to myself when you were taken from us, from me. A promise to never let you go again.” Her eyes swell up with moisture, unable to contain the deep emotions pouring from her soul. “I’ve always known there was something between us. I even knew that you felt something too. But, as Captain and Commander, we weren’t able to act on those feelings.”

“So what has changed now? We are still Captain and Commander.” He brings his right hand up the side of her face, his thumb wiping at the streams of tears there. 

“I realized during all the chaos and the fighting of that horrible year, that we were already together. The loss of you couldn’t have been felt any more deeply. The only thing missing in our relationship was the physical aspect. We have already broken the rules, we just haven’t acted on it. And now…”

He doesn’t allow her to finish; he’s heard all he needs to. Grasping her hips again, he spins her around to press her back up against the wall. His mouth finding hers, while her body dissolves into his embrace. Their hands searching the other’s body, seeking out skin. A deep moan leaves her throat as his lips leave hers and move down her neck, latching on to the skin over her pulse. 

“Chakotay.” She hums in pleasure and feels his groan vibrate against her neck in response. “I love you. I have for so long. I’m sorry it took so long for me to say it.” 

She sighs when his lips leave her, afraid that she she’s said something wrong, that it’s too soon.

“Kathryn...I have loved you for so long. So long.” His hands move back up to clear away the wetness pooling under eyes. His own eyes dark with desire and gleaming with love. “I will never know all of what happened in that other life you lived, but I’m grateful for it. As hard as it appears to have been for you, it has brought you to me now. And I promise...I warn you...I will never let you go again.”

The next few hours are filled with sounds of passion and admissions of love. While she doesn’t know how it came to be that all the memories are still with her, she now knows the why of it all. This is how things were meant to be. This is what _they_ were meant to be. And she vows to keep her promise...the promise she made while holding on to that little piece of time.


End file.
